i haven't written anything personal in awhile so this is actually a little bit harder than i thought. the past few weeks has just been an emotional roller coaster ride. i've done things that i'm not too proud of but i really don't know how else to go about trying to correct them. it wasn't so long ago that i was contemplating giving into the darkside but then the past few months my thoughts have been on trying to be good. i guess no matter how good your intentions are, but once you're an asshole, you're always gonna remain one. i thought all of this self imposed exile was going to be doing me good, yes i feel that i've grown, but the end result is still the same. i know that i'm a bad person. my intentions always started off good, but i always ended messing things up and hurting people along the way. i wish there was a way i can make everyone happy because i really hate hurting anyone but i know that sometimes its going to be impossible. i hate this person that i've become. oh what a tangled web this spider has woven.
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