So that last blog was a little lame, I know.. I was just a little lazy. I'm still feeling lazy though, but I need to get back into the swing of things. I guess Spring Break really did throw me off a little bit.
Ahh break... what an apt word for it. There have been a lot of things on my mind since break, and I need an outlet for all my thoughts...
On spring break, I went to church almost every day the entire time I was there. Now, most people, when they here the phrase 'go to church' don't think of it as the event that I do -- which is, an opportunity for a life-changing experience. Especially since I've come to Simpson, I've learned to enjoy the practice of fellowship and communion at church, and even more so when I'm at my family church back home in Seattle. I think it's fair to say, that most people get out of church what they expect to -- if you expect nothing, you get nothing.
Moving on...
I went to Seattle with the mindset that I needed God to move in absolutely miraculous ways in many areas of my life. Its fairly easy to see I've been just a little bit of a wreck lately, and I'm not one that likes to stay that way -- so I asked God for a lot of things, because I am so obviously incapable of so much. What I got, was anger -- a lot of it. It was probably around Wednesday I started getting angry, but by Friday night, when I spent the night at my favorite pastor's house, my anger came to a peak -- and I broke down. However, it needed to happen, at that place and at that moment, because it made everything that had happened every day that week at church come to a rushing head, and finally I got some answers.
The one thing about God, is that when you ask Him for the answer to a question, He really doesn't answer it very well -- but He has the perfect reply. What I mean by that, is that He knows us, and whats inside of us, and what we really need more than we do -- and while we're asking for our next meal, He's making preparations for our bountiful inheritance that is beyond our imagination. If you're asking God for one thing, and He keeps showing you another, why don't you just look into it, and see why He's giving you what He is -- you may just recieve the key to your freedom.
The one thing I can say, is that God is giving me back the priviledge to dream again. For a long time, I had given up some dreams of mine, because of fear and the will to be obedient and 'right.' let me just say -- if you give up hoping for those desires and dreams God puts inside of you, to please noble and righteous things Godly men put upon you, you're still being rebellious, no matter how much you try to be obedient. God's ways are always higher than man's -- no matter how Godly the man is. You know who's opinion matters first? God.
There are things that happened over spring break that will effect the rest of my life... dramatically. Plans I had made, everything I had arranged -- blown up. I've given up trying to anticipate an unpredictable God.
In other news... I must observe Lent and keep a Lentin Journal from now until Easter, as part of Spiritual Formation. I'll update ya on what my spiritual practice will be... and for all of you who think Lent is just about fasting, or just for Catholics, you are so out of the loop on that one.
Okay, I'm done blogging for now. Until next time...
KT |
