This weekend was nice. It was quiet, I held my ground and did not go out. That was really hard. I got a few calls and the bar and friends were calling me, but as much as I wanted to go out, I really was in no mood to put an outfit together, wear open toe heels in the cold and a lacy tank top with a nothing but a jean jacket to keep me warm. Plus it was raining.  So I curled up in front of the tv, with my thick blanket pulled all the way to to my chin and just chilled. Viva La Bam came on and I was basically in heaven.

Saturday morning I went to work and my mind was in rare form. I was thinking about everything. Mostly about my non-existant love life. That was when a song came on Smooth Jazz 106.1. Toni Braxton's Another sad love song. This song is one of my favorite sing-a-long tunes. Toni's Alto voice is always the right key for me and I started singing with a broom in my hand. As I sang, I finally paid attention to the words, and this is exactly how I feel:

Since you been gone
I been hangin' around here lately
With my mind messed up
Jumped in my car tried to clear my mind
Didn't help me
I guess I'm all messed up now baby
Soon as I jumped into my ride
Those memories start to play
A song comes on the radio
And there U are baby once again

It's just another sad love song
Rackin' my brain like crazy
Guess I'm all torn up
Be it fast or slow
It doesn't let go
Or shake me
And it's all because of you

Since you been gone
I keep thinkin' about you baby
Gets me all choked up
This heart of mine keeps
Dreamin' of you and it's crazy
You'd think I'd had enough
As soon as I get you out my head
I'm in your car again
Just one request from the radio
I'm back in love sugar once again

It's just another sad love song
Rackin' my brain like crazy
Guess I'm all torn up
Be it fast or slow
It doesn't let go
Or shake me
And it's all because of you

Here comes the strings
Then somebody sings
Only takes a beat
And then it starts killin' me darlin'
Only takes one note, I tell ya,
From that radio
It's just
Another
Lonely
Love Song

I then decided that I need to stop replaying the last few months if romantic ups and downs over and over in my head. I need to let go. I think I may of tried to do this "letting go" thing, but this time I mean it. I need to find a happy medium and stay there. I may not have a boyfriend or someone to cuddle up to, but I am hardly alone. I have my friends that I have known forever, I have new people that have come into my life, and I have an awsome on-line support group. Knowing that should be enough, and ya know what, it is enough. I'm not going to let all the sad love songs rack my brain. If I want love to find me, I have to be free of past baggage. Maybe 2006 will be my year, maybe it won't, but I am not and never have been a quitter, so that is that.

Song: Romeo - Basment Jaxx

Movie: Hostel (I haven't seen it, but I heard it was better then Saw 1)