Every once in awhile, my boss shows us that he does have a sense of humor that IS funny and sends out something that he received. I'm sure that this can apply to just about any state, area, or country. Plug in your own whatever and see if it applies. For me, it's Kansas.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it's the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Kansas.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Kansas.
I have the farmers tan on my arms, sortof ... the tan has faded, but the freckles abound.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Kansas.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Kansas.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Kansas.
Would you believe I got a date one time this way?
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Kansan WHEN "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas. (very true)
It's 2 1/2 hours to Manhattan, Kansas from here. And 3 1/2 - 4 hours to KC, depending on construction on the Turnpike. Work is 35 minutes away if I drive straight there ... dropping off kids, it's more like 45 minutes if my mom and I don't talk too much when I drop off J.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might live in Kansas.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you might live in Kansas.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Kansas.
And you wonder why we laugh when people freak out over 6" of snow.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings), you might live in Kansas.
I have yet to be at a wedding where there was camouflage. Though, cowboy hats and boots are definitely seen.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked, you might live in Kansas.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, you might live in Kansas.
Shouldn't everyone know how to use jumper cables? Or change their own oil? And when you go get new tires, you make sure that you ask them to hand tighten them on. You never know when you're going to have to change a tire. You look awfully funny when you're only 5'4", in heals, jumping up and down on a 4-way tire iron trying to get the lugnuts loose because they machine tightened it.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you might live in Kansas.
You're just plain stupid if you don't.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Kansas.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Kansas.
Well, this is not true. Road construction season starts about mid-February to early-March and doesn't end until late-October to mid-November. It's more like winter, tornado/floods, summer, floods/tornado. But, this one may be more geared towards Western Kansas ... and that's a whole nuther world.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.., you might live in Kansas.
But, you are very aware that if you don't plan ahead, you have to travel the 1/2 hour distance to Oklahoma on Sunday if you run out.
If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might live in Kansas.
If your idea of going out to eat is a tail gate party every Friday, you might live in Kansas.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you might live in Goodland, Kansas.
If you find 0 degrees to be "a little chilly", you might live in Kansas.
