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I Have a Tendency to Make Myself Laugh

Two Letters & a Eulogy

1:52 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. 8 comments .. 0 trackbacks .. Link
Today has been bitter sweet. Something awful has happened and yet in all that tragedy there can be much joy. I feel that the best way to communicate my feelings is thru 2 letters and a Eulogy.

 

The Eulogy of Mr. Tokyo Ninja

 

Mr. Ninja was a close friend of mine. My mom and I would eat with him 2-3 times a week. His steaks, chicken and pink sauce was beyond amazing. I don’t know what my life would be like without him. He taught me how to eat well, keep warm (all that fire) and laugh hard. He will be missed. I remember when Mr. Ninja introduced Vincent and me to our long lost uncle, Uncle Yao. We will forever remember his feelings for me… and my voice. Mr. Ninja also brought my friends and me closer together. I will never forget when Mel and I saw Jo-Anna and her family there and she paid for our dinner. Mr. Ninja will be greatly missed. But just remember that whenever there is filet minion, whenever there is miso soup, whenever there are volcanic onions our thoughts and prayers will turn to Mr. Tokyo Ninja.

 

If you have any stories you would like to share feel free to comment. Only through our memories will we keep Mr. Ninja alive.

 

Dear Mr. Nasty Stupid Don’t Talk to Me Chef,

          Let me tell you that I am a person who is quite accustomed to change. Things in my life never stay the same. When I found out today that my favorite place, (Tokyo Ninja), was bought out by the company you work for I was scared to say the least. My fears were justified when I received my soup, which was no longer miso soup but beef broth instead. While I didn’t enjoy my soup I was holding out, praying that at least the chef would be good… and then you came along.

See N.S.D.T.M.C (that’s his name see above) you obviously lack in the skills required to make a good first impression. Something you need to work on is reading people. My mother and I were obviously there simply for the food. I know that there is a show involved but if we are talking don’t interrupt us to tell me I’m cute. I know I’m cute, and I don’t you to tell me. You asked my name and I told you, assuming you were going to ask everyone else, and then you proceeded to call me Lindsey Cutie. Yet you couldn’t tell that I was less than amused. Lindsey Cutie eventually evolved into Lindsey Baby… that’s when you crossed the line. Wasn’t it obvious that in my not responding to you I was simply not impressed by your weak come ons? Furthermore I’m happily taken and if you think flirting with me was going to increase your tip you were sadly mistaken… in fact it lost you your tip.

          You thought it would be funny to fling an egg shell at me… maybe it would have been funny if you didn’t hit on me the whole time… oh and if you didn’t accidentally fling raw egg at me first… but you didn’t notice that did you? Then to cap it off you sang to me (poorly might I add), I didn’t look up at you once and yet you thought it was still fun for me. Once you realized that I wasn’t looking at you, you decided I was just shy. You can think that all you want but I will never give you the time of day.

          Once you realized I wasn’t biting you went in on my mom. You said she looked angry. Well if an old man was calling your daughter baby, cutie and so on you’d be mad too. We don’t play that. We wont come back… thanks.

 

~Lindsey

 

Dear Jim Thomas,

 

I was shocked to hear that you were engaged to Sophia Dartinovia. Sophia and I go way back and she didn’t even tell me she was seeing someone. Then I learn that she is engaged to a man whose first name rhymes with her brothers and last name is the same as her nephews…

Long letter short: Mel, if you want to pretend that you are engaged just so you can try on wedding dresses you can use my brother as your pretend fiancé. Or Ruben… he’s always available for you.

 

Lindsey


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thats horrible lol my spelling that is

3:24 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. Posted by Anonymous
i so so i don't know but i remember the first time i whent to tokyo ninja it was with rev and mike after the church turned to sic
it was good
sadly i have never retuned so the chefs didn't mess with me
the next time something like that happens get old school on that sucker and say
call me baby one more time and you wount be able to have any babys ever SUCKER

Oh Mel....

4:04 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. Posted by Mel
I'm not even going to talk about Toyoko....lunch gave a new defination to heartburn!

Please don't settle for Wiley or Ruben, they are not yet good enough for you (sorry son, but you need maturing before you are ready for such a woman)and Ruben, he's a bit stuffy. But I do hear that Brad may be available soon (and I think he is taller than you)!
Miss you,
Mom

Mom...

4:07 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. Posted by LindseyTaylor
... everybody is taller than Melissa... even a cardboard cut out of Brad Pitt!

No EVERYONE

4:15 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. Posted by Mom
Caleb isn't...

Not EVERYONE

4:16 PM, Jan. 12, 2006 .. Posted by Mom
Caleb isn't...

thanks

4:16 AM, Jan. 13, 2006 .. Posted by arcadia
it was the first name i thought of. im reading a book of norse myths at the moment

My late husband (may he rest in peace)

2:58 PM, Jan. 13, 2006 .. Posted by Mrs. Ninja
I want to say Lindsey-san, I am touched my husband dear to your heart. I have indegestion every night since his parting. Tums not even working. I always remember your kindness to my brother, uncle yao. He is old maybe but very nice and we always eat well when he is near.

I am mourning so all I can say now is this haiku I wrote for Tokyo Ninja-san.

Oh my dear husband
your food was so good no one
could ever replace

That's all I could write because this is a haiku and I ran out of syllables.



Umm... Huh?

5:23 PM, Jan. 14, 2006 .. Posted by Annetta
Okay I guess I am a little confused. You wrote some letters, great, but I didn't get some of them. Also the comments people made make no sence to me. Is it me or am i really a blonde? ...........

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