Today
is the day of the dinner. I have to go early with my mom, but i also
feel pressure to make sure to everyone has a good time. Yesterday was
so stressful for me, and i feel like i let my cousin down. The bowling
aley was WHACK i mean it sucked bad, lol no one was there! Tee , my
cuz, and I jus sat at a table taling for an hour waiting on my bro ,
and he never showed up . He had my male cousin to entertain apparently
they had a boring evening as well lol. ST. LOUIS is boring for anyone
who wants to know, or has it in their head thas it's this fun , great
place to to...NO! We have to make it fun and when ppl come in from
places like New York, Cali, and Chicago..it jus doesn't compare. But we
weill try again tonight. I'm gonna take the fam to a club called 'the
Oz".
On another note, guys...D for some reason wants to come
visit me. I'm really kinda shocked, it's been nearly two and a
half years and this is the first i've ever heard him mention
visiting. My cousion jus got out of a 3 yr relationship
( she is
dating outside her race, GO GIRL!) and says that if her ex gets himself
together, no matter if she's engaged , she'll go back to him. That was
a powerful statement to me. They just broke up like 3 weeks ago...I've
been broken up for nrealy a year, so i think i'm a lil passed that
stage, but it was a crazy stage to be in.
To me that feeling
kinda makes you feel trapped. It's like you're trapped having these
strong feelings for someone u can't be with...and the waiting for the
whatever it is to change is agonozing to me.
I'm supposed to
be getting ready, not gabbing on the comp, my eyes feel good, so i
better get off before things get bad. But anyway,...i'm not quite sure
how i feel at this point.
Tee has been acting
more"boyfriendish" ..and it seems to closer i get to him the more all
the other guys start showing their feelings. Is it just a chase the cat
type of thing, or is it real?...With one guy i feel like why does it
have to be another guy in the picture for u to catch a clue? I dunno
how i feel about that...
Did i invite Tee to the big family dinner where he'd meet EVERYONE?
Cousins and family from all over...you'll have to stay tuned to find
out...=x
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