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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Knew someone would come trying to steal my joy! So yesterday was the day of Job, i was feeling so , so good, all day long ! I was feeling good my decision with Tyrus, it didn't even make me sad to say the words to him" i think u should focus on ur ex" all day it was me vibing with the Lord. Tyrus and i talked from 9 pm till about 12 am about my ex and his ex, just sharing our experiences , our pain as well as our joy from our past and really just talking as friends. I was so sleepy on the phone with him, once the call ended i was gonna go ahead to bed. Twyon called, i talked to him for a bit, but dakota text me way early in my convo with Tyrus and i said i would call him back once i got done. So i decided to stay true to my word and before going to sleep, gave him a call. Well he was frustrated from the jump. I asked him what was on his mind, he was like, " i don't know, i'm sure i'll remember once i lay down" whatever, ok..i'm thinking im getting ready to go to bed, but he brings up tyrus, "so ur not mad at him at all huh?' I'm thinking "oh here we go" long story short, it errupts into this big argument which included yelling, and hanging up( all me of course lol) he is pretty much upset at the fact that i felt like there is no point in there ever being an us anymore, considering that he is now dating the person who to me has been a big headache since Nov of last year. My whole thing is, he broke up with me Nov 16, 2004....bu Nov 22, 2004 he had written her 2 love letters , and 2 love poems. So you telling me that within 6 days of a break up between two ppl who were in love and happy( or so i thought) tha sum girl just comes in and he get so "confused' that he writes her 4 pages of love notes??? That i find and read every word with my own eyes...my heart was already broken from the break - up now this??? So he went on to tlel me he was jus confused, after a week i accepted , but that same girl still kept resurfacing and in another email i find he is addressing her as "love" heart breaks again..DAMN ok..so this girl does mean something..from jan- through late march they continued to be lovey dovey( his feelings went back n forth) via an emial account which i later found out about, and even had the luxury of reading through all the emails. ALL THE WHILE THIS GIRL WAS STILL WITH HER MAN...Dakota then tells me that in the course of all tha he loses something very special to this same damn girl ..who is by the way folks not supposed to be a threat to me, i am not supposed to feel insecure about their relationship. So even after this girl keeps resurfacing, i still decide to give it another try with Dakota in July. He acts like he is miserable, we talked like 5 minz every other day..a long distance relationship can not with stand conditions like those. Before getting into the relationship i flat out told him i was scared, i jus found out all tha stuff about him and the girl, i was insecure about if he really wanted to me with me or if he jus was becuz he couldnt be with her, i told him all tha, but still when we got back together he was too stressed to be happy. So i ended it. I got with tyrus, and for the last week he's been 'dating" her. But....here's the kicker.. for months he complained about her not calling him, not spending time with him, said she is a poor friend but felt she would be better as a girlfriend. Once they started dating..i asked him had it gotten any better," no change, it's basically pointless" So lemme get this straight, you dating her and feel it's pointless? Wha kind of brain does dakota have? Common sense should told him tha when /if he ever dated her it should be a real shot, it should be for love, cuz there would be no going back to me. But of course, i'm the bad person for saying hell no i'm not gonna date u again, why jus to have this same girl continue to come up and be an issue for me? | ||
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