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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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Abandoned...tha is the source of all my
pain tha one lil word, describes how perfectly how i feel..the fear tha
engulfs me regarding loved because i do not want to end up feeling tha
way, even though i feel like it is virtually inevitable.... i will share more on this later. Been emotionally abandoned by my mother for years. Been abandined by my brothers who have each other, and don't think i'm "cool" enough to hang with , but instead look at me like a fragile child... Been abandoned by every guy i've ever really loved in some way , shape or form,sure they'll love me, but they always leave, they're jus not 'ready" then try to come back??? Been adanonded by my friends, all of my friends at some point seem to go away Been abandoned by my daddy-- who yes i was angry with for leaving me all alone. No wonder im afraid of love and all things associated. But my heart is so big tha i still try anyway, or have i finally reached the breaking point , where my wall is too high for anyone to get over? I'm starting to think so. When i do find ppl who i start to like or fall for, i become so afraid of them repeating the cycle...even if i am ever ready to try for love again, will i ever be "normal" enough to make it work? | ||
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