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I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help.....

I feel like a kid againDec. 16, 2005

And i do not mean this in a good way lol ..Last night while sitting in the chair getting my hair braided my tooth began to hurt uncontrollably. For some reason i got the bright idea to push on it which of course only made it hurt worse. It hurt all night, even caused me to call off work this morning. My first thought was to get the tooth pulled, so i go to the dentist today to find out i need a root -canal...but not only that but tha i can't affort to get one. My doc took x-rays of my tooth and charged me $!00 bucks jus to tell me wha i needed and tha he couldn't help me in any other way but to prescribe me some vicodine and amoxicillan. The root- canal alone is gonna cost me 700 up front, and then another 700 to put a cap on it. The real problem here is..tha if i get the tooth pulled eventually it'll cause my other teeth to go crooked lol and u know i'm not having that.

So sitting at my dining room table realizing i only have 235 dollars left, prolly 100 after i get my prescription tha i began to cry. I jus sat there crying like a big ol baby. My mom came walking by and saw, " u crying?!. well huh, are ya?" I never said anything, but she came over and put her arm around me," go get ur medicine, u;ll be ok" trust me..from her that was a lot...i'm working a full time job ..tha still leaves me broke with and offers no benefits...THAT's not right. First thing Monday i'm looking for a better job so tha in the future when these lil mishaps come up i won't have to sit and cry at the realiziation tha i'm screwed =(
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