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| I was a cocky( in terms of interpersonal relationshipz) naive, self righteous, and spoiled. In terms of guyz ( the ones i fell for) i was clingy, jealous, possesive, and non trusting...in terms of self..i was non decisive, non assertive...and a plain ol push over. My life used to be full of pain, but i finally said NO MORE. Thre differenc between now and then is that i finally have help..... |
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First
things first, my computer is completely messed up =/ I have so much on
my mind but i DO NOT feel like typing about it all....the last month I
have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I've been high and low but
mainly low, and i've noticed myself moping...visibly moping to the
point where ppl continuously ask if im ok ... I've been having issues with my weight( more so than usual) height, I've been second guessing myself as a teacher, and feeling like my personality is too plain and boring. I've had random bouts of laughing, crying, even yelling at ppl....it's been weird, it's been hard. I have bene too concerned with love and with twp people who i should just put out of my mind. Dakota and Tyrus, two guys who i "cared" for who both made me feel that i have to share them with another girl, anna and melinda. I'm the only girl between two boys, I'm used to all the attention from the guys in my life, between my dad and my brothers i've always been "taken care of" ....of course my dad always had my mom and my brothers had their girlfriends, so it's not like im saying i always have to have it all about me, but these two guys, Tyrus and dakota know how to show their women love, the problem is...(with d) he shared his with someone much too quickly and ( with tyrus) he's getting over his much too slowly...which means i don't feel like the special girl in his( Tyrus) life, and dakota made me not even want to be that girl in his anymore. I have this problem with these guys, with D there's so much resentment, with Tyrus there's so much wonder and frustration. Basically I'm tired of the emotional tug- of - war, this year i don't want to be tormented by these two ppl who i personally feel don't deserve me....cocky..i know it sounded, but true. I have a business to start and 15 lbs to lose by Feb 1 lol so i have lots to keep my mind occupied---this year i plan to achieve sucess in every aspect...business,spiritual, financial, and of course personal....love..real love...where i KNOW i'm special. A toast to friendship...which is currentlyt he only thing i want to focus on with anyone i am already aquainted with. In 05 i ended 3 friendships...and i haven't looked back, at times i got bored and lonely..but the bad def' outweighed the good in all three of those..so to them i say farewell~~~~~ Tw...thanks for the the sneaker balls, they really hit the spot ! | ||
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