| Detrimental Entanglement |
Semper Infidelis, Part TwoI meant to write more last night, but my brother and James were hounding me. It's alright though, I never have anything too profound to say. I suppose I could write about my life, my area of expertise one might say, and that sounds like a good thing to me.Yesterday I woke up rushed and stressed out, half sprawled out on my floor after a night terror (you know, the horribly vivid nightmares that you're supposed to grow out of?), and with 10 minutes before I had to catch my bus. I throw clothes on and brush my teeth. I miss the first stop so I run to the third. The bus is waiting for me. I climb into my seat, and Yohan says something rude, so I snap back to tell him where he can put it, and something twinges in my neck. As it turns out, I'm having a muscle spasm from stress, in my neck, so I can't turn my head to the left. I sit through a little of second period before Ms. Coffey tells me to go to the health place to see what's up. The lady in there says I'm having a muscle spasm, and I should go home. I call Carl, and we go home, and I ice my neck for a few hours. Five o'clock rolls around, and JAmes and I drive over to Westview to get my flute. Everything is locked of course, so we find a janitor who grills us. My saving grace is Ms. Coffey. He lets us in, I grab my flute, and we high-five. We're that amazing. Corbin loves me more than anyone ever has, and I think ever will. Cole loves me in an innocent and trusting way. Andrei loves.... I can't even go there. This is my love square. Two suitors and a boyfriend. This is part of why I am stressed to the max. I used to wish and pray that people would like me... Be careful what you wish for? The other reason I'm stressed is because my grade in Chem. is falling drastically, I probably will end up with a C, if I'm lucky, I didn't get accepted in AP Lang., which made me cry onto my scantron, and I'm having trouble coping with my own mediocre intelligence. People do not understand why AP Lang. was such a huge deal to me... It's because I judge myself on the things that I am good at, by what other people think. Writing is what I used to precieve as my strongest area, and that isn't adequate. I'm not going to whine or anything, because Pueterbaugh told me to make this a "learning experience", but I'm not that good at anything else. I'm not brilliant, and I fear that my hopes will be folly. I like being around intelligent people who understand literature, and music, and funny puns and sarcasm... But with them, I feel so small. Like standing next to the ocean, wondering why they like me, or endure me. I want school to end, because then I don't have to look back and wonder what happened to me.... I don't have to be a genius, I can just relax, and take everyday one day at a time. My expectations fell through, as did the expectations of me. I will always have trouble coping with the fact that I went from being a big fish, to being plankton. Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do Oh brother I can't believe it's true I'm so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you Oh I wanna talk to you You can take a picture of something you see In the future where will I be? You can climb a ladder up to the sun Or write a song nobody has sung Or do something that's never been done Are you lost or incomplete? Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece? Tell me how do you feel? Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak And they're talking it to me It's easy to become down-hearted... and easy to feel like the world has turned it's back on you when you need help the most. It's not easy to give the world the middle finger and just go about your own business. Forever unFaithful Pi 11:03 AM - Saturday, May 27, 2006 - post comment
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Description Rags, bottles, and sacks. Home User Profile Archives Friends Lisa Nat Brandon Val (Poser Extrodanaire) Recent Entries - Just Like Old Times - The Lavender is High - Val and the Missing Piece - The Change is Something Deeper - One More Song Before the Night - This is the Evil - Jenseits von Gut und Bose - The Bold and the Beautiful - Untitled - After Much Too Long - The Best Kind of Love - Semper Infidelis, Part Two - Semper Infidelis Friends - LindseyTaylor |
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