Well, lots have changed in the past year or so. My husband went from the National Guard to the US Army. We had our big wedding last September...it was beautiful except for the fact that my mother in law wore black to my wedding. Who cares anyways...she is a half-bubble off level. We got pregnant shortly after the wedding and in November we got the shock of our lives. We tried for one baby and got TWO. I gave birth to our Army brats in May. They are little stinkers.

I don't really know what Army life is like. I am staying with my parents until my husband comes home from his second deployment to Iraq. Yea!! Gotta love the Army...sign 'em up and ship 'em over. It's been hectic. Taking care of twins is more than what I bargained for. For all you that only had one at a time, you got it easy. For all those with two...I am with ya. For those with three or more...God bless you and Heaven help you! I got my hands full with two...I was terrified that I would go into labor just to find out that one was hiding and there were actually three. I am happy with the two that God blessed us with. Do we want anymore? Don't know yet. We got a boy and a girl the first time, so we may just stop while we are ahead and I am still semi-sane.

I love my little ones. They are the best things in the world. They wake up and give me smiles even when I feel like I can't go on. This deployment has been particularly difficult. I am miles away from my home, my idiot neighbors gave our cats to the Humane Society (yes we got them back...and they were in bad shape), my only friends in this world are miles away, and I am taking care of twins. It gets very lonely sometimes. It won't be long until my husband comes home, though. Thank God. The bad thing...I know this won't be our last deployment. It's like Russian Roulette. They just keep sending them over until they hit the hole with the bullet. I am terrified every day for my husband's safety. Everyday is a challenge and there are new challenges everyday. I was gonna write a book...looks like that one is gonna have to take a back seat.

I have lots to vent about, but it will have to wait. I am exhausted and really need my sleep...while I can get it.

Army wives: send me some comments. Let me know how you handle the day to day.

I know, I know...it has been a terribly long time. Lots to talk about, let me tell ya. Let me get right down to it.

We just found out a few weeks ago that we are expecting our first child (and probably only child if I don't stop feeling like I have a stomach virus 24/7). Our health insurance from my husband being active duty runs out at the end of November. Health care IF they ALLOW us to pick it up from Tricare will cost upwards of $771 a month....for TWO PEOPLE! It gets worse...if he gets coverage through his work it won't start until Jan. 1, 2007...and they may not even cover the pregnancy since we will not have been with them for a year. So, how the hell is anyone supposed to get coverage in this country. This country is for ****e...let me tell you. 41 million people uninsured, mostly middle class, because they can't afford it. What is wrong with this picture? Doctors make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year...some even millions of dollars, and there are people out there that can't get healthcare because they don't have insurance. On CNN they had a story about this...and about how many have to declare bankruptcy because of medical costs...I can't believe it...let me tell you.

So you ask, what about public assistance...well, we don't qualify...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Not for medicaid, not for food stamps, not for any public assistance. And there are welfare people out there smoking and drinking away their foodstamps (yes, it is possible, I have seen it done), and there are soldiers with families who can't afford healthcare and don't qualify for assistance. And not just soldiers....middle class working people in general.

Pretty soon there won't be a middle class...just the rich and the poor....welcome to medieval times.

What can we do? Does anyone have an answer?

OH! And the military is dicking around and taking their jolly good time in releasing my husband to go active duty...believe it or not...it would solve all of our healthcare problems...Thanks Army for being arseholes and not helping a soldier out. SCREW YOU!

Been a while, hasn't it? Well, not much is going on in my life, just trying to find a job...which may be put on hold since my husband may go active duty soon. Yep...I may have to deal with deployments more than what I want to. But this is what he wants to do, and I support him completely. I mean, if he gets deployed again, I have already gone through it once...I can do it again, right?

Besides there are great benefits to going active duty.

Other than that..hmmm...well, we just had our formal wedding ceremony. It went very well, and our friends said that they had a blast. I am very glad that everything went great. Funny story: my nephew, who is 2, was our ring bearer. During the ceremony, while I was singing "The Prayer", he started whispering to his mom, who was a matron. He started saying, "Mommy, are we done yet....mommy, I see you....mommy, I want to stand with you...Mommy!" Then he starts chanting "Nanny and PawPaw, Nanny and pawpaw..." over and over and over again. I am surprised that my entire wedding party wasn't rolling laughing...I would have been if I would have heard him. Lol! He is the most darling thing! And my five year old niece was swinging her flower girl basket. BUT the dresses were beautiful, the men were in uniform, and I looked like I stepped out of the Renaissance.  It was a happy day! One of my bridesmaids gave me a little trouble, but it turned out well.

Thanks to all who read my blog...I really hope that everyone continues to check back here! God Bless ya'll!

Alright, so I am gonna vent about the way we handled the assassination of Zarqawi:

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi (I hope that I spelled that right): As I see people talking about his death on the news, I have to wonder whether they handled his death in an ethical matter (they being the government and the media.) I can't say that I am happy that he is dead. Death isn't something to rejoice in. But I do believe that it may have been a good step for the United States Armed Forces. What I do not agree with is the way that everything was handled. As much as I am sure that every citizen in the United States and other coalition countries wanted to see for themselves that Zarqawi is dead and that it wasn't a government poll raising stunt, I am also sure that the "enemy" didn't. Now I know that most people in the US do not care what they think or want, but consider this...

How do we like it when our soldiers and citizens are being beheaded or burned and it is splattered all over the media? We see these pictures and it angers us! We get fired up, we fight harder, our soldiers fight harder! So what do we expect them to do? They aren't gonna just give up because Zarqawi is dead. As my husband predicted, there was a successor named quickly and now we have another target, and the bombings won't stop...our soldiers are gonna continue being attacked. So what is the solution? NOT PLASTERING THE MEDIA WITH PICTURES OF DEAD IRAQIS! We don't like it, and they don't like it. Not to mention we have now painted him as a martar...good job US leaders...we just fueled their fire.

Just a quick note about my husband. He finally came home to Maryland on May 11th from a 12 month deployment to Iraq. It is great having him home. He is the best husband that a woman could ask for!

Just some quick information about his deployment, since some may be wondering what he was up to. My husband was deployed in January of 2005 with Bravo Company, 1-115th Infantry Division of the Maryland Army National Guard. His unit was attached to the 48th Brigade (Georgia Army National Guard), which was deployed to many different areas of Iraq. For the first few months of the deployment they trained at Ft. Stewart, GA. In May of 2005, they were sent to Iraq. For several months, Bravo Company was attached to the 1st Armored Division based in Ft Riley, KS, and was on missions doing searches of houses and patrols around the Baghdad area. During this time, my husband's truck was hit with a VBIED, injuring his two best friends and a couple of others. When this mission concluded, they were sent to the Al Anbar province to aid in convoy security, where they escorted crucial supplies to areas of Iraq. On May 11th, 2006, he returned to Maryland.

Bravo Company did not lose any soldier during combat operations, although one young man was killed in a vehicle accident during training at Ft Stewart. This unit has been truly blessed, and I wish every unit could be as blessed as ours. Thank God for all the prayers he has lovingly answered the way we have wanted.

Hope you all enjoy the read, and I will get back to ya'll soon.

:)

It is over! My husband just called to say that he is in the United States. It has finally come. 18 months have passed, and the stress of suicide bombs and being shot at is over...well, for the most part. Once he is home, there will be more to come.

:)

Just an update. Not much going on really. Still waiting for my husband to return from the "sandbox". It is drawing nearer to the time of arrival, but still some time to go.

Oh, and to the reporter: our public affairs officer said that it wouldn't be a good idea to do an interview, also, my husband does not agree with doing it right now. I will talk to him about it after he returns and ask if he agrees then.

Back to the update. Our second wedding grows closer, as does my husband's return. I can't wait for him to be home. We've missed out on over a year of our life together. But we will get back on track and we will pick up our life and finally get on with it! It will be glorious to have him home!

So, many may be thinking: What's in store? What do couples do when they finally get to see each other after a very long deployment?

Well, you spend some "alone" time together, get to know each other again, and really just be normal couples. While my husband will never be the same, he will always be my husband. (Divorce isn't in our vocabulary.) We will go to church together, read the bible together, watch movies, cook dinner, clean, laugh, love, cry, curl up on the couch with good books, fight (haha), and even maybe makeup a few times. We will just be a normal couple. Whatever that means!

But that's about all for right now. I will keep you all updated and hopefully, when he is back sometime this summer, I will get him to write a few lines!

Keep praying for our troops!!!!!

:)

My grandfather died last night. He was the last of my grandparents. We knew that he wasn't going to live much longer, but it never gets easier. The worst part? I have no one here to grieve with. My husband is 8000 miles away. I called the red cross and put in an emergency notification, had the first sgt notified, and even got a message to one of his friends. I just hope he really gets the message.

I don't know if I can do this alone.

I just got finished reading an article about the War in Iraq. As many of you know, a sacred Mosque was blown up in Iraq. This is a terrible act that I cannot even begin to talk about, but I will try my best. I have a quote for everyone and then I will talk about the atrocities that the man named Zarqawi has committed.

"Zarqawi, al Qaeda's terrorist leader in Iraq, issued a statement in 2004 justifying violence against Shiite Muslims to help restore Iraq to its previous state. "I come back and again say that the only solution is for us to strike the religious, military and other cadres among the Shiia with blow after blow until they bend to the Sunnis," the statement said. Zarqawi said he recognizes that "blood will be spilled" in the endeavor, but that "God's religion is more precious than lives and souls." excerpt from defenselink.com news, today

http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Feb2006/20060223_4279.html

I just do not understand this dog's thinking. Let's first look at the issue of "God". All religions, all languages have a name for an all powerful being that has made the earth and the universe. We all (that practice some religion) have principles in common. Let's talk about the one that is the most important: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." God does not want people to murder in his name. Our religions and our lives are based on being good to others, loving them as ourselves, and helping them in their time of need. We all do it, we all donate our times and moneys and anything that we can to help our fellow man(or us more philanthropic peoples do anyways.)  How can this Zarqawi fellow really believe that any God would have a sorted, twisted idea that religion is better than lives and souls? Retorical of course. No God, no matter what religion you practice, would have His followers believe this. Zarqawi is a sort of anti-christ, anti-God, anti-humanity coward that is hiding behind an insecure mask that allows him to think that he is bigger and better than the people of Iraq. Think about this: Why do people have a prejudice against other races? Hmm, let's think about this. Because of a few bad apples. That's right, and Zarqawi is a really bad apple. He has made a terrible name for himself and is the worst human being alive. I can't believe that there are some Iraqis that have pledged their lives to him, and in the name of God. Here is what I say, and no matter what God you pray to or what religion you practice or what you call him, say this with me:

"Oh, God, Allah the great High King of the Universe, I pray and ask that in your name, the name that Zarqawi is taking in vain, please let your terror and your wrath rein down upon him, the one that is slaughtering and murdering people of the world in Iraq and around the world in your great name. Let him know the pain and suffering that he has bestowed upon the people of the world. God, let the coalition forces combined with the Iraqi forces and police find Zarqawi and may your justice upon him be swift. Thank you for answering our prayers. In your name we pray, amen."

And this is just an after thought...maybe Zarqawi should strap himself to a bomb...people who commit it go to hell in some religions, maybe we will get lucky and he will finally go somewhere that his suffering will be greater than those that he has inflicted pain upon.

Cheers!

I knew that Valentine's season would be depressing, but I didn't know how much. You see, our anniversary is during this time too. It will be our one year anniversary soon. I have been a little more depressed in the past week. I guess it's because he isn't here and the fact that I know he won't be for our anniversary either. He said that he is sending me something, but it just isn't the same. I just wish that the remainder of his time over there would go by quickly. It's rough not having him home, and it is difficult not being able to sleep beside him. He is my soulmate, and I wish we would be able to spend Valentine's together, and our anniversary here soon.

Well, I am long overdue, aren't I? Well, that's because I have a really boring life! Not much going on right now. Looking for a job, and rather impatiently awaiting the return of my husband. (They were told that the quality of the job they are doing is the best they have seen, and I heard from someone in a high up place that they are making quite the reputation for themselves.) I am proud of my Soldier, but I wish they would just let them all come home. But what wife doesn't....oh yeah, the ones that are having affairs...that would be them. Luckily I haven't heard of any wife of our group doing that...thank God. Talk about a sticky situation for a home coming. Speaking of all this...ever wonder why TV shows paint the wives/fiances/girlfriends in such a light that they are all having affairs and stealing their husbands money and lying around drunk and high? Pisses me off. I mean come on...I don't go out and find guys to replace my man...and they have enough to worry about without all that Schiesse. But I digress.

I went to visit my father in law and his wife. They are so good to me. They took me to a gun show...which was AWESOME...and yes, I like guns...GO NRA!! And my father in law took me to the shooting range. It felt good to shoot those little paper targets...and I think that with a little practice I could be very, very good with a handgun. I am just fortunate that my father taught me to shoot when I was younger.Thank God for people who hunt and teach their kids! Anyways...Still pray for my husband. I miss him like crazy and his missions just seem to get longer every time and I don't get to speak to him as much. God Bless all our troops!!

So I realized today that there is only 8 months until the wedding, and I haven't really done anything. I have booked the church, I am in the process of booking the reception hall, I am still trying to collect addresses for my husband's friends and family, and I have bought a few decorations and the patterns for the dresses. I did pick a menu and am seeking prices from the caterer. Any suggestions anyone? We eloped the first time and until my husband is home we can't pick out stuff like new rings or anything. I feel like there are tons of things to do, and haven't done them! I talked to the person that will be doing all our hair. Thank God for small towns. The reception hall will be about $300 and all the bridesmaids hair will be about $120 total. I love my home town! Anyways, I am looking for special ways to decorate. I want everyone to feel like they stepped into a gold dream when they walk into the reception. I have the ideas for centerpieces and favors, so that is covered, but I want to decorate the ceiling and hang lights and make everything sparkle. I know...I am a complete dork! I just want this to be a memorable day. I want people to walk away with a smile and thinking that our wedding was the most beautiful and original that they have every witnessed.  Anyways, enough about the wedding crap. So I watched a movie with a girl friend...and we both almost vomited from the horrible movie. We had to leave because of how terrible it was. If you even have a strong stomach you don't want to watch "Wolf Creek". The worst part is that it is based on actual events. I didn't even get to see the ending because of how gruesome it was.  It took a while for my stomach to feel ok again.

Anyways, the countdown is on. Pray for me and my husband. Especially my husband and his family. His mom and stepdad are getting a divorce, which is good, because his stepfather is the biggest problem in our relationship and he is not good for my mother in law. God Bless our troops!

Ok, so I thought that the new year was getting off to a good start. My husband called New Year's Day and said they were told the date that they would be home....a little sooner than we had expected. Yea! I spend New Years with his friend and even made some new friends...and there were others there that know what I am going through, and the 1st started out beautifully! So I wake up the second to my cats driving me nuts by knocking everything in the living room off into the floor, then that sound.....that sound that scares everyone....the sound of running water...and then you see it. The carpet is starting to turn a different color and it's then you realize.....THE HOT WATER TANK BUSTED!!! It's 7am, I am running around frantic trying to move things out of the way of the water, calling the maintenance people, calling dad, shutting off the water, flipping the breaker for the water heater. What a way to start off the new year. Well, hopefully they will get this crap fixed. I already have had to vacuum up the water that has soaked my carpet. Thank God it didn't go all the way to my tv....I would have been devastated.

Talk about a crappy Christmas. My husband got online yesterday for a couple of minutes, got my parents home phone, and said he would call me today. Did he? Nope. Talk about a crappy Christmas. Ba, Humbug.

Today, I was "let go" by my employer. After 2 months of telling me how great I was doing, I was let go. He said that "sometimes it's hard to push aside those things that creep up in our lives and focus on what we have to do." And that I am "not a good fit." I know no one up here really, my husband is in Iraq, and I am now unemployed. God help me.

I missed my husband's calls yesterday. A friend of mine was drunk-text-messaging me at 4:30am and I turned my phone on silent. At 7:00am my husband called....twice, and I missed them. Yesterday I was so depressed. I called another wife to tell her to tell her husband if he called to tell my husband to try and call me again. I guess her husband didn't call, or maybe my husband couldn't get to a phone. I cried when I missed his call. I haven't talked to him in over a week. :( This deployment crap sucks.

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBER THOUGHT
CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.

WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?

I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.

SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.

THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.

I COULDN'T HELP WONDERHOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.

THE VERY THOUGHT
BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."

This poem was written by a! Marine.  The
following is his request. I think it is reasonable.....

PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favor of sending
this by cutting and pasting into an email to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon
and some credit is due to our U.S. service men and women for our being
able to celebrate these festivities.Let's try in this small way to pay a
tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and
dead, who sacrificed themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant
this small seed

Just thought I would let you know about the upcoming holiday season. I have been pretty good up to now, ya know? But now with all the holiday stuff coming around, it is getting a little more tough to be cheerful. Like I always do about this time every year, I got out my Christmas cd by Garth Brooks...the newer one, not the old one. It brought tears to my eyes. I just keep thinking about  the soldiers and how they won't be home for Christmas. While we are all with our families, snuggled up in the warmth of our houses, our soldiers will be fighting. They will be carrying their guns, performing their missions and not get the pleasure of enjoying the festive season with their loved ones. It brings tears to my eyes.

This would be my and my husband's first Christmas together...but he is over there. There's that coined phrase again. Just seems we can't get away from it. To any soldier who may be reading this: I feel terrible that you can't be home. I feel for you that you are fighting for us, while we have good times with our family. Please know, that you are definitely thought off, and sorely missed during these terrible times. I have a Christmas song to share...

I'll Be Home For Christmas

Kim Gannon, Walter Kent (c) 1943

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

God Bless our Troops. You are in our hearts and Prayers.

Well, today is a boring day, but will get better soon :) Time for HARRY POTTER! Got tickets tonight and can't wait! I love it! So everything is going well with me. Trying to keep busy with work and everything. Got things to do and people to see. Speaking of people to see...I am so happy that I finally get to go home for Thanksgiving. YEA!!!! Makes me happy. I miss my family a lot, even though they aren't that far away, we just don't get to see each other as much as I would like.

Husband is doing well. We are just counting the days until we are together again.

ARON: can you give me your email or blog address again. I don't think I saved either one of them :) 

Well, everyone have a happy Thanksgiving...and remember to say a pray for our troops...They are fighting so that we are safe and don't have to fight.

God Bless you all. Stay safe this holiday season. And for all service members reading...God Bless and God Speed. May he keep you safe.