The way I am

Posted on May. 17, 2006 at 12:50 - Post Comment

i dont know how come that music can take a huge part in our life.. it can influence our life, remind us of some events in our life - it is difficult to explain but when i hear a song that caused positive emotions  some time ago, it sure will cause the same emotions again... no matter how i bad i am feeling but when i listen to "i say a little prayer" song performed by "My Best Friend's Wedding" crew i always smile because  when i first time watched  the movie i was feeling great and happy, and this feeling of happiness arises every time when i watch this film or listen to the song... last time i watched this movie several times - not because i am unhappy or something like that but because this movie lets me feel the happy atmosphere of my past, the atmosphere when everything is great and you dont have any problems... Not that i have too many problems but...life is becoming more difficult... sometimes i want to  become a child again..

But back to music... when i feel  like i am feeling now - not unhappy but also not completely happy, a bit melancholic, a bit tired of everything, a bit helpless because not everything is going like i want to, when i want to cry but cant because there isnt any obvious reason for that, there isnt any reason at all to cry... just a feeling that i need to - it is not a depression... it is just such a state of mixed feelings, when you know that everything is fine but still not that fine that you would like to, when you want more from life and you know you are able to get it but not now, may be later..it is like when you long for something but dont know or cant remember what for... so when i feel like this usually my eminem - phase starts. i just feel that the time has come and all the music i am able to listen to is eminem's... before i had this phase 2 times in my life... the third one started yesterday evening...It doesnt mean that i am depressed, nervous, unhappy etc... i dont know what it means but i know what is the reason for this - i got tired of my family, there are too many of them, i need space for myself, a bit more than they let me... i love them but there are moments when i want to be left alone...  just me and... me and may be someone else... someone very special one... but not they...

Like it is said in one of Em's  tracks - "I don't know it's just the way I am"

say a littler prayer....

Posted by Anonymous on May. 23, 2006 at 16:51-Link

again you picked a song which is also as important in my life as it is in yours. i have always loved this song and have collected as many different versions as can be found. the version by aretha franklin is so good. the best will always be the original by dionne warwick. as always... i say a little prayer for you, my love. i love you. have a wonderful day.