last nightPosted on Jul. 23, 2006 at 12:06 - Post Commentlast night was as bad as a previous one... no pains though, just some uncomfortable feelings in the stomach area, but they really get on my nerves, i am afraid what it can be, searched online and found out that many people have pains like that had before the operation even after the procedure is done, that made me feel kind of scary - why to do an operation when you still may have pains? couldnt sleep properly, bad dreams again, the same ones, they just dont want to leave me alone. i guess it is because of a lot stress i had recently ... i fell asleep only at about 6 am but it wasnt normal sleep, was interrupted every 30 mins by a nightmare, and finally woke up at 10 am. i've got 6 hours of not normal sleep for the last couple of days, feel extremely tired now and pretty lonely in this empty house. the whole night i have been watching tv, but now i cant remember what i watched.. today i am going to read a lot, i will re-read the "harry potter"- series. it has many advantages: 1) it is long enough to keep my mind occupied for long hours 2) i have read it so many times, that even when i fell asleep on it i wont be very upset about it 3) it has so much magic inside of the books, that may be i will believe in magic a lot 4) the last books always make me cry and it is what i really need right now 5) the good is always winning there, i know it is not like in real life and it is not a serious literature but last couples of days i only read some very sad poetry so now i need something really different 6)still the main advantage is that i wont be lost in my thoughts when reading this books, they always help me to abstract my mind from my own reality and sink into another one, where everything is possible and you even dont have to pretend to be an adult... the only one big disadvantage will be that i read too fast, and may be even these books wont be enough to save me from my feelings and pains...
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