Mars and Venus

Posted on Aug. 3, 2006 at 10:57 - Post Comment

It is supposed that men and women are from different planets. Men are from Mars, women – from Venus. Well… the modern society corrected it a bit – most of women come sure from Mars because they’ve become so independent, strong, that they done need anyone to protect them and to take care of them. And some of men are really from Venus. (I wont comment this ;)). But we still are not living on different planets; we are living in different worlds, that is why it is so hard sometimes to understand each other. Men often complain about how they never understand a woman. “She is saying one thing, thinking about the other one, but meaning absolutely different”. They really believe that women live according to the rules they have set up like in very lame jokes “Rule #1: the woman is always right. Rule #2: If the woman is not right, see the rule #1”. The problem is that we haven’t set up any rules, it is a privilege of the men and if they’ve decided they don’t understand women, it means they should live according to this rule, even NOT TRYING to understand. I mean they never understand why we are crazy about chocolate, what is so great about wasting lots of money/doing shopping, how is it possible to talk for hours on phone and why are we tired in the end of the day (coming from work, buying food, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry – why are we tired? :)). well… you shouldn’t understand it, just accept it as a given reality and life will be much more easier and comfortable from now on, I promise. Because we’ve already taken as a reality, that you can watch sport channel from the very morning till late in the night, that you need to drink some beer with colleagues after work, that you always forget about important dates and that you never are fully satisfied with everything. It is a reality and we have to put up with this :) But there are things that I personally really cant understand. once you decided “I know! I know what he thinks, what he needs, what he wants. I know what he is made of…” then suddenly he says something or does something, or may he doesnt say something.  and you don’t know what to think, how to react, how to accept that you still don’t understand him. when we could better understand each other, the relationships  could be much more happier and complete. but we do not… what I personally don’t like is that when men are concerned about their own feelings they never are able to share them with us, thinking that it is only their business, and they will manage them by themselves. but trying to fix up their feelings, they are submerged so deep into themselves that they don’t see how painful it can be for us, that we are suffering together with them… There is a lot to be said on this topic, I only want to post below an article I have found while searching in the net. May be it can better explain what I wanted to say :)

by Kaye Siders

Men: perhaps the most frustrating of all the beasts.  Will we women ever truly understand their thoughts?  Is it possible for us to think from their point of view?  Should we be careful what we wish for? 
All jokes aside, perhaps if women start thinking like men, it would make this whole man/woman relationship a bit easier.  So, the next time your man does something that frustrates you, try thinking like he does.

1.       Rarely do men think about writing us sweet little love notes or cards or sending us flowers.  You know, the stuff that we women eat up?  So, the next time you get frustrated with your man about his lack of romanticism, remember that men don't always think like this. What do they think about?  They may wonder why their sex lives are not too hot (hmm, could the love notes or flowers possibly fix this?).  You see, they don't sweat the small stuff, including reminding you with cute little things just how much they love you.  The reason for their apparent lack of attention to these small gestures is that their idea of "romantic" is often different than ours.  The next time you start to share with your guy that you would love to have flowers sent to you at work, don't sweat it if he doesn't respond to you immediately.  He probably has other things on his mind. 

2.       Does your man seem disinterested when you are trying to talk to him about something important to you?  Do you feel that you two have a problem and you wish to talk about it?  Does your man seem less than thrilled when you insist you both must talk about the issue right there and then?  Men, more often than not, prefer to keep their problems to themselves and think about them for a while.  It doesn't mean your man is incapable of communicating with you.  It just means that he would rather process the situation before saying anything.  More often than not, a man will want to come up with something concrete to say or a specific solution to a problem, rather than just discussing several different options with you.  Though we women think about our problems out loud and wish to discuss every little aspect of an issue, that doesn't mean men have to do the same.  When it comes down to communicating, give your man some space.  When he is ready to talk to you about an issue, allow him to approach you.  Remind yourself that you are two different creatures and when it comes down to it, men and women often have a very different style of communication. 

3.       Don't be offended when you don't get exactly the response you would expect or desire.  Let's say you come down the stairs modeling your sexiest dress for summer and you notice a smirk on your man's face as he is staring straight at you with that sexy grin of his.  You instantly begin thinking that he must be in deep thought about how hot you look and how he is the luckiest man alive to have even met you.  Then you glance over your shoulder and notice the game is on.  That smirk on his face wasn't even for you!  You start to get angry, wondering how he could not notice you in this dress!  After all, you are looking good! 

Ladies, don't let it get to you.  That might have been a rather extreme example, but men are not always going to respond to something the way we hope they would.  Don't take it personally; just remember that men don't always think about things like we do.  They sometimes forget, as we sometimes do, that what they see as relatively trivial is often more important to us.  It doesn't mean that your guy doesn't adore you or that he thinks you look horrible in the dress.  It just means that your gorgeous new dress may have to wait until half-time of the game to get the attention you feel it deserves.  

4.       Let's talk sex and the man's way of thinking.  Okay, ladies I know this may be a sensitive subject.  Remember that old rumor that men think about sex every seven seconds?  Well, it is just that -- a rumor.  According to the Kinsey Institute, 54 percent of men think about sex once or several times a day, 43 percent think about it several times a month or at least once a week, and four percent think about it only once a month.  So while we ladies were under the impression that men only have a one track mind about this particular subject, we were most likely mistaken.  The next time you complain that your husband or boyfriend only has one thing on his mind, you may want to think again about what you are saying.  Most likely it isn't true.  Just keep in mind how great it is that your man can't keep his hands off you -- for him it's likely one of the most profound ways of expressing his love for you.

Men... they aren't easy to figure out.  The next time you are upset with your guy, try thinking about it the way he would.  Remembering some simple ways men think and applying that knowledge in your relationship may make life much easier!

And a bit from myself:  Men and women need to understand that everyone is different and not everyone is going to have the same thoughts and react to situations the same way that you do. Therefore, being more sensitive, compassionate, and respectful towards other people can diminish the differences that men & women possess.

thats all for today, i hope you enjoyed reading it, i tried to put as little personal details as i could, i don’t want my blog to become quite personal, you know…

and by the way (may be you don’t know ;) you really can leave comments here

Sorry!

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 3, 2006 at 17:32-Link

Really busy these days...so can't comment. May be some other day. ;)

Have a good day!

Untitled Comment

Posted by abhay on Aug. 3, 2006 at 17:34-Link

the last comment was from me. :)