Posted on Sep. 18, 2006 at 09:51 - Post Commenti just decided that its time to update. i really wanted to write earlier but i couldnt make myself to do this - it is still quite painful and tales a lot of emotions. may be i am really too emotional but it is the way i am and i cant and dont want to change this. first about me: still pretty tired and have fever but now i know the reason because on friday i finally went to the doctor and found out what the problem was. it is still because of my OP in Juny and now i have again to go through some procedures and take a lot of meds. i wonder what happened with me this year - i never had helth problems before.. sleeping problems ... well i am still having them.. may be because of all the stress i have these last weeks i am reading a lot now - when i read i dont feel my own pain, i feel the pain of the books characters - it is not that hard and i can hide my own emotions. i am trying to live positive, to think positive - and be strong. i am almost able to control my emotions again. and i dont cry everytime when... ok.. it is not that important, may be still too personal ) i cant enjoy life as i did before but i am trying to live the best way i can right now. may be the first time in my life i need some support in this. i never did before and always was able to cope with my difficulties alone - i'm afraid now i cant...may be later, but now i really cant..
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