I dont believe

Posted on Dec. 26, 2005 at 16:26 - Post Comment

Do you have a dream? I know it is quite silly to ask such a question. Everyone has a dream! But I mean do you have a dream that seems to be easy to realize but you are not able to do it. And this sense of helplessness makes you crazy.

I don’t expect much from life. Is a wish to be happy much or little And what is it, the real happiness?  I am sure everyone wants to be happy. And almost everyone knows what he needs for it. As most people I want to be loved. Really. My parents love me; my sister does, my niece, my friends. But we all understand it is not the same. Once I was told that the only meaning of our life is the truth, and the only truth is love. People, who don’t love, miss something important. But what if they are ready for it and able to share their life with someone special? And this someone special let you wait for him. It is like a trial.  You feel extremely lonely and you don’t know how to cope with your feelings.

I don’t feel lonely often. But there are times I want to cry because there isn’t anyone who is near me, who can care for me when I feel bad and with whom I could share everything that happens in my life. I don’t know why but the end of the year is always time when I have something like a depression. I suppose it has something to do with all the dreams that didn’t come true. Every year we want our dreams to come true and every year they do not. I don’t believe in magic (even if I would like to), I don’t believe in fairy tales (but I want to), I don’t believe in princes on white horses (though it would be nice). And I don’t believe in dreams. They do not come true. Even when you do everything to make them come closer.

One wise person said: If you want your dream to come true, don’t over sleep. Does it mean that we shouldn’t sleep at all? Otherwise we will miss the moment the dream has got its realization.

As everyone on this planet I want to be happy. I don’t think it is much. And being happy means for me today not being lonely. And not being lonely means to have someone to care for and someone who would like to care for me and who will be happy by loving me. I haven’t got much from this life. And I never wanted to get something from my fate but now I ask my fate to hurry up the moment when I meet my true love or to make me understand whether I have already missed that moment.