I need advice-please read

  I F*ucked up.  I F*ucked up big time.  I can't believe how dumb I am.  I can't believe I let myself do what I did last night.  I went over Will's apartment to watch a movie...I am lying if I said I didn't have any idea that something was going to happen.  But I didn't think it was.  We were fine for a little while...just hanging out.  And then he just kept pushing me into this trap and we ended up kissing.  *~Breath~* And then we kissed some more.  He touched me a little and I touched him a little and it stopped at that.  But I wanted him so badly.  Like I haven't wanted a guy like him in so long.  I was just looking at him last night and he is just my perfect type of guy, he is just so hot.  I love the way he looks.  It's weird because looks aren't really that important to me.  I am just attracted to him.  And I could see myself being serious with him.  Which I haven't felt yet with Steve or Gabe.       

  But wait....why am I even thinking about that? I just totally destroyed all trust between me and Steve and there is no way that me and him could ever start anything serious.  I feel like I need to tell him pronto...and the other part of me is like...I am going to hurt him.  I need advice...what the f*uck should I do!??!??  Yes technically I am single...yes technically I am dating Will's best friend.  But shouldn't that mean something to him?  And not just something to me? They have a pretty weird relationship.  I don't really understand it.  But they are close.  I mean as of right now I don't have that many options.  One tell Steve...and see what he says and does.  Or not tell Steve and secretly date Will.  But none of those options sound like a good idea.  I am a honest person...I have a guilty concious, this only happened last night and I am already thinking about telling Steve.  I am sure I am not the only person that has been in this situation and honestly I think it was bound to happen..sooner or later.   Will asked me out on a date tonight.  I have to talk to Steve.  I need to get my head straight.  Please help me. 

Song: Stupid Girl-Garbage

Movie: My Best Friend's Wedding

10:09 AM - May. 2, 2006 - post comment

In my experience...

... Honesty is always the best policy. Even if it makes you out to be a jerk. Even if it means that you were leading him on. If you are open and honest it make hurt both of you momentarally but save you from causing (or receiving) permanate scars in the long run. I hope that was helpful let me know how things work out! Linz

Anonymous - 1:30 PM - May. 2, 2006

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~*Thanks Linz*~

I told Steve today...it wasn't as bad as I thought. He is hurt of course and believe it or not so am I. He is just so good to me it's hard to not like him too. I talked to some of my girlfriends today and they helped a lot. Steve wants me to go out with Will and figure out how I feel. At the same time he is jealous and told me today. I feel so confused. Just have to take it one step at a time...can't have it all. Tara

Anonymous - 2:45 PM - May. 2, 2006

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Untitled Comment

i think it was a good idea to tell everything Steve. There shouldnt be any misunderstandings between us, you cant go on building any kind of relationships with people when you were not honest with their friends. sure you cant tell now for sure what will happen later with Steve or Will or may be someone else. all i know is that being honest prevents us from having disappointments and making mistakes in the future.
I wish you good luck with your private life and hope you will make the right decision. I want you to be happy like i am :)
As for your movie choice... i watched 'My best friend's wedding' 3 times for the last 10 days. I am just in mood for this film, have no idea why?..
I hope you will have a wonderful day,
lena

lena - 2:00 AM - May. 3, 2006

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