Make up your mind already!

  So today is hump day...blah!  I have off tomorrow from work...which is kinda nice because I have lots to do and not much time to do it all.  I was thinking about cooking dinner for Steve tomorrow night.  I have to clean the apartment up and down.  Tomorrow is going to be spring cleaning day, thank god!  I need to get my life in order.  I am going to wash my car tomorrow too.  Clean it inside and out...vacuum.  That would make me so happy.  I went out on a date with Will last night and it went okay.  It wasn't spectacular to say the least but it was nice.  I thought about Steve though... I know what your thinking.  MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!  But I just can't hurt Steve.  I like Will...but there are a lot of maybe(s) with him.  I doubt the things he says and does a lot.  With Steve I never doubt him.  I mean I still have my guard up but not as much with Steve.  I guess I let it down a little. 

  I am kinda pissed off at my boss today and of course everyone else in my office.  She yelled at me about a file that wasn't mine because she f*ucked up!  So of course I hear shi*t about it.  Everyone in this office has a hidden adgenda I feel like...they all hate it here you can see it in their eyes.  They leave early constantly and I hate being the only one here Thursday through Monday. It's not fair.  I do get my weekends off which is nice but everyone acts like this job is just something they come to each day and don't really care about.  It bothers me.  I mean I don't pay their bills or sleep up in their beds but when their attitudes effect me and I have to deal with their laziness it bothers me.  And they are always picking on me too!  It's a good thing I like working in the city and what I do. 

  Is it bad to wish your life was different?  I guess I can change it all but it just seems like a lot of work.  I am pretty tired.  I know I am only 22..but I am tired.  I have worked a lot of jobs and done a lot of things.  I am ready for retirement...haha.  Just kidding about that.  I want to get my book started, lose more weight, have a healthy relationship with a guy I like, and finance all my money the correct way.  And maybe keep a job longer than a year for once in my life.  I ultimately need to get my life in order and become the best me I can be.  Whoever that is! 

Song: Love Song-311

Movie: Empire Records

11:23 AM - May. 3, 2006 - post comment

please

let me know when you have made up your mind - your life now is just like a movie with uncertain end...:))
but when talking seriously, it is always difficult to make decisions, especially hard ist for good people because they are always afraid to hurt someone's feelings. you are a good one for sureand i am a good one too, but i also know that it is your life and it is your decision which can change your life. please be careful with decisions, because the change can be different - good or may be bad. and i dont want you to regret about your decision in the future. do it like you want to dont think that you may hurt someone, because in the end it may be you who will be hurt. i hope you understand what i mean...

lena - 3:52 AM - May. 5, 2006

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