My Blog

Nov. 17

OK, so I'm just not going to tell anyone how many sleeping pills I took last night, as I think it was probobly Way to many.  Lets just say, I slept from 4am to 8am and was almost late, so I had to cab to school.

My Mum and step-dad left for Cuba at 1am.  They are now there, enjoying themselves, while I sit in our cold house on my computer.  It doesn't seem fair.

I did cut today.  Unfortunately, I was stressed because I was late for school, so while waiting for my cab I did it.  Ms. Flood, I didn't do it at school. so I didn't technically lie to you.

I didn't do really a lot of anything today, pretty much stayed in homeroom all day, read "La toile de charlotte" (A.K.A. Charlotte's web), saw my guidance counsellor, called my Dr. and that's pretty much it.  Right now I am debating whether or not I want to do my math and english homework.  I know that I should, but I don't feel like it.

I got info from University of Guelph-Humber , and I will need to take Biology 4Ui at night school, in order to have a better chance of getting in.  However, my grade average right now is high enough to apply for something called "Academic Merit Entrance Scholarship".  If I keep my grades at the current standing, I could possibly have $1000 for school... YAY!!!

I am still getting sick when I eat, and still losing wight, but I don't care anymore.  I had some lasanga tonight, but got sick.  It was really gross.

I made my Dr. app't for Monday, and will ask to be admitted to hospital then.  I know that there is a problem with me, not sleeping, not eating, taking too many meds, cutting... so I think I should go and fix this.

Will be at my Dad's this weekend, so might not post anything, however, if  I have whoever on MSN messenger, I will still be online.  Unfortunately, I will not be on Y! Messenger.  Sorry. :(

I saw the drama teacher in the hall today, and I could feel my heartrate go up.  She stresses me out so much!  I took the cold detour (through the school parking lot) to avoid her!!!  oh well, at least i'm not in her classe.  

Oh, I popped a ton of bubblewrap today, I think it is starting to lose it's effectiveness.  BOO! :(

well, I think that is all, so do whatever after you read this.

 - Randii -

B.N. Ms. Flood, Thanks for helping and letting me know that you are here for me to chat with.  Also, TY for your wacky ideas, and telling me that you are proud of me, even though I can't seem to go a day without cutting.  Thanks for believing in me.