My Blog

Nov. 26

I haven't cut yet today! *Yippee!*  I have thought about it a lot though.  I was even having dreams about it!! 

However, my arms are EXTREMELY itchey!!!  I know this means they are healing, but I want to pick off the scabs so they don't itch!  And yes, I am aware that this sounds disgusting. 

Now, I avoided cutting by sleeping on and off most of the day and being so sick I didn't have time or energy to cut.  I am feeling a little better now, but the only thing that I have eaten today was 1/2 an apple.

I am scared to cut because what if my mum finds out??  My dad did, a teacher did (well, I told her, but she suspected something), so how much longer until my mum does??

I mean, I am really really scared.  Especially since yesterday, when I cut, I hit a vein by mistake. OOPS!  It wasn't too bad, since I noticed right away.  But it bled a lot!  I now have a bruise, but it seems to be healing fine.  I mean, it could be worse.  At least my white blood cells did what they were supposed to and clotted it fairly quickly.  And yes, I cleaned it Ms. Flood.  I would be an idiot not to.

Also, to clarify, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I WASN'T TRYING TO KILL MYSELF!!

anywho, i'm done now.

ttyl

- Randii -