My Blog

Horrible Rotten Crummy Night

OK, so I obviously had a horrible night because that is the title of this particular entry. 

It was horrible because I was supposed to go home yesterday (I am at my grandparents visiting) and I asked if I could stay another day because I didn't particularly want to go home, I still don't but my grandparents and my dad won't budge on me missing another day of school.  Anyhow, I had to call my mum and tell her that I wouldn't be home, she asked why and I kinda just mumbled something that sounded like I don't know.  She said fine and hung up. 

Thats not the worst part of it though. 

 Then my dad and step mum came over to my grandparents and explained to them that I was cutting.  They didn't understand at all.

We were sitting in the living room, my stepmum, dad, and both grandparents and myself, and I was sitting kinda in the corner-ish.  They all kept bombarding me with questions.  I was so angry and frustraited and I just wanted to leave.  Unfourtunatly, they live in the country, so I couldnt exactly just walk over to a friends.  Anyway, I was sitting there and crying and they kept asking me these questions and I just wanted to disappear. 

I am still mad at my parents for them telling my grandparents about it.  I dont think they really needed to know.  I mean, the only person I have volunteered any information to is Kimberley and my Dr. and a little to my counsellor at school.  My dad and step mum werent even supposed to know. 

I am regretting getting help because all everyone wants me to do is talk about everything and I dont wanna talk.  I just want to keep doing what I am doing.

Oh, this still isnt the end of my night.  Then we went to the Owen Sound Hospital: Crisis Centre.   That was ever so enjoyable as well.  Mind you, I didnt have to wait nearly as long as when I was at Grand River Hospital: Crisis Centre.  Maybe that's just because Owen Sound is smaller than K-W....

Anyway, we were there for 3 hours.  And we only had to wait for about 30mins, so we were talking for 2.5 hours.  I didnt really like the counsellor because she kept saying that it was unhealthy and that I needed a different coping mechanism and that I was hurting people around me and a bunch of other crap. 

She told my dad and step mum that if they thought at all that I was going to commit suicide that they could call the cops and they would pick me up to go to the hospital.  Yeah, not thrilled about that.  Apparently, the Mental Health Act, it says that commiting suicide is against the law.  This doesnt make sense to me, its my life and I should have that option if I choose it.  Nobody should be able to make me not do it.  They should only be able to try and calm me down and talk me out of it for a little bit.  They should not have that right to make me stay on this earth if I dont want to. 

Oh yeah, they are supposed to ask me if I am suicidal, and I get yes no and I dont know.  I dont know and Yes they will call the cops on me. 

Anyway, that was the end of it I guess.  It was still a horrible rotten night though.

And I am very angry at my dad and step mum.

ttyl

 - Randii -

Untitled Comment

{ 12:21 AM, Dec. 13, 2005 } { Posted by 4everlostnalone }

Just checking up on ya,
Love Ya,
Passion