so tonight..i was lying with mike...and i was thinking about how much i just love being with him. whether we're talking, not talking, sleeping, hanging with other people or if i'm watching him work. i love being with him. i love being around him. its incredible.

the first time i saw him..it's like..i knew. i got butterflies and stuff...but it was a different kind. not the normal kind. only then i was too scared to admit that. but...its true. i told him tonight why i didn't run when he told me he loved me for the first time. it was because...he seemed so nervous. he was hugging me, but couldnt keep still...and he all of a sudden, really fast was like "i love you brittney" i wanted to hit my knees..and i wanted to run. but...i didnt. i didnt because it was so sincere. i could feel the truth. i knew he wasn't lying. and...that's why i gave him a chance. and i'm glad he gave me time. i love him. its incredible.

me and brad were discussing the notebook today. he was wondering why it used to be "so sad" to me. i told him it was because then i thought that love like that was impossible to find. love like noah and ally's was miracle love. once in a lifetime love. rare love. i would always think to myself that i would never find what they had. never. that's why it made me so sad. because i wanted that love and i was afraid i would never find it.

only..i did. i found it when i wasnt even looking for it or expecting it.

and thats when the best love happens. when you're not looking. and you turn around all of a sudden and its a slap in the face. right across the face. and it hits you so hard you dont know if you want to push it away or embrace it. its so incredible and so overwhelming. and it takes over your whole body..and your whole life. thats the love i wish everyone could have. that's the love i always dreamed for and found...when i wasn't looking.

days like this...i love.

sometimes i can just look at mike..and be like "wow...he fell in love with me. he fell in love with me before i fell for him. and he waited for me to figure it out."

when i'm with him i get the most incredible feeling. like i'm on cloud nine.

its the most wonderful thing ever.

i wish everyone could find someone who makes them as happy as he makes me.

i wish everyone the best of luck in that.