jimmy eat world is smart. wise. they write well. this is the song on my mind right now.

Jimmy Eat World

     Work     

If you only once would let me
only just one time
then be happy with the consequence
with whatevers gonna happen tonight

don't think we're not serious
when is it ever not?
the love we make is give and its take
i'm game to play along

all i can say
i shouldn't say
can we take a ride?
get out of this place while we still have time.

all the best dj's are saving
their slowest song for last
when the dance is through it's me and you
c'mon would it really be so bad?

the things we think might be the same
but i won't fight for more
it's just not me to wear it on my sleeve
count on that for sure

can't say i was never wrong
but some blame rests on you
work and play they're never ok
to mix the way we do

all i can say
i shouldn't say
can we take a ride?
get out of this place while we still have time.
you wanna take a ride?
get out of this place while we still have time.
yeah we still have time.

the song really means a lot to me. it probably wouldn't have had i not seen the video...but it does. the video has kids in highschool talking at the beginning of it. one girl says something about parents allowing them to make the same mistakes they did. because...you know..that's the only way we'll learn. is if we learn the hard way.

i dont write about sex on here. mainly because i've been scared my mum will find a way into this and then disown me for the rest of my life. or either be really "disappointed" in my actions of choice. i trusted in her once...and she totally went haywire on me. not again. i wont do it. honesty is not the best policy in that case. all i wanted was her guidance...not her lectures and disappointment. i understand sex is a big step...but its also my choice. not hers. not my dads. mine. yes. me and mike do have sex. we've been having sex for 4 months now. i think. round and bout. and yes. my choice. mine and his combined. if i wanted to give myself to him then that is most definately my choice. i love the way my heart soars when we're making love. i feel so much closer to him and more connected with him than i ever have with anyone. even david. and i had sex with david too. i never felt this connection with him. the difference? i'm in love with mike. whole-heartedly. i think david was lust. for sure he had to be. and i can certainly distinguish the differences between love and lust. clearly. cause..with mike..it's love. what i feel is indescribable. with david...it was lust. what i felt was...pleasure...in that whole of a second that we were intimate. sh*t ..i wouldn't even call it intimate. more like...entangled. i dont know. but what i'm saying is...i'm not making a mistake with mike. and even if it was, then itd be my mistake. not hers. she needs to chill and let me live my life...the way that i want to live it. point made.