love.
when you're not in it...you dont believe and you're jealous of it.
when you find love...you either run...or embrace.

normally..i would've ran. ran far.

but..with mike..things are different.

 a lot different.

i dont want to run.

i want to stay.

and i want to love him with all that i have.

he's...amazing.

absolutely wonderful.

my heart soars.

all the relationships i've had have been....silly...compared to this one.

minimal...silly...immature relationships.

but this one.

something is really different.

it scares me.

i've never been so scared in my life to love someone.

my heart used to be a love worn mashochist.

it's like...i took pleasure in having my heart ripped to shreads..

then put back together..only to be torn apart once more.

its like i lived for the pain.

without it i didn't know where i'd turn to.

then, while my heart was getting tortured by the sadist...

i met mike.

the milestone in my path.

i was scared.

i am scared.

cause...i'm so incredibly comfortable with him.

i can honestly say....

i've never felt this way.

and it's an amazing feeling.

he sleeps now.

lying on my bed.

on his side.

breathing so soothingly.

calmly.

so innocently.

i look at him and my heart skips a beat.

i love to dote on him.

i never liked to dote on david.

or chris.

or anyone before.

but mike..

is something special.

i want to hold on to him forever.

and i say that with truth in my heart.

i'm out.